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Band 4

Some people believe that the government should financially support retired people. Others think they should care for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support #care
In
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 day, there are high level of unemployment among
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation. The main problem that can be caused is economic issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the country and a viable solution is
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
show examples
 young
people
 in all kinds of help The major problem is that young
people
 can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
problems
, because of their
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. Some young
people
 do not have a
work
, because they do not have
motivation
Change the article
the motivation
show examples
 to achieve their goals, but
existing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of
people
 who just do not have a
work
, because they have a wish and they want to continue their career
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 way ,
such
 as, criminal
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 ,
therefore
, they might be robbery shops or perform illegal things, because they have a lot of
problems
 in their life ,
such
 as, lack of money,
opportunity
Correct word choice
or opportunity
show examples
 or they have some
problems
 with their mental health. The most practical solution to
this
 is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should give all
possibility
Fix the agreement mistake
possibilities
show examples
 for young
people
 ,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 accessible
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary ,
moreover
,
parents
 should see their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 under supervision to
prevents
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
 economic
problems
.
Furthermore
, young
people
 should be motivated and have a target to reach.
However
, young
people
 should have tight-knit relationships with their
parents
 or family, because
have
Change the form of the verb
having
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
bad relations with
parents
 can
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their behaviours or job progression.
Parents
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a vital role in
Correct article usage
the lifes
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 of young
people
,
therefore
,
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 support
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
incitiatives
Correct your spelling
initiatives
initiative
 to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
work
 and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 satisfied. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should give very good conditions for young
people
 to outperform their
work
 because
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 which might
be show
Change the verb form
show
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good results in their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Moreover
,
to
Capitalize word
To
show examples
 prevent issues
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
strict rules for all
people
 and
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 more responsible for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of young
people
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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