All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

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Health is
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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first priority.
it
Capitalize word
It
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is sad but true that
obesity
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is increasing day by day. There are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation and it leads to some
hazardious
Correct your spelling
hazardous
effects.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
reasons and effects of
this
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scenario.
To begin
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with, There are a plethora of causes of
obesity
Use synonyms
. The first and foremost is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of knowledge.
Use synonyms
people
Capitalize word
People
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do not have enough knowledge about healthy
food
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option
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options
show examples
and
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
to keep the body healthy. They eat unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
regardless of their negative
effcts
Correct your spelling
effects
as they do not know anything about how it affects
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body.
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Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, lack of time is another reason
of
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for
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obesity
Use synonyms
. In
this
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fast pace
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fast-paced
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world
people
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rely on fast
food
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and other
ready made
Add a hyphen
ready-made
show examples
meals as they don't have enough time to cook because of their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Other than that ,
people
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are not engaging in physical activity these days
such
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as sports and walking because of
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
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lifestyle.
Hence
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,
obesity
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is increasing. Another point is presentation and promotion of junk
food
Use synonyms
leads
people
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to crave to eat them. For
an
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apply
show examples
example ,
people
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are more dragged to KFC
burger
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burgers
show examples
because of
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
appearnce
Correct your spelling
appearance
and delightful aroma which leads to some serious health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. There are various problems
arises
Correct subject-verb agreement
arise
show examples
because of
obesity
Use synonyms
. Overweight
people
Use synonyms
are more prone to heart
releted
Correct your spelling
related
disease
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diseases
show examples
due to
Linking Words
less exercise and other
phyical
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physical
activities. Consuming too much street
food
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and extra calories leads to
highet
Correct your spelling
highest
higher
cholesterole
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cholesterol
cholesterols
levles
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levels
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
in
Correct article usage
a highr
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highr
Correct your spelling
higher
chance of getting
heart
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a heart
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attack and stroke.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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overweight
people
Use synonyms
often suffer from anxiety as they feel less confident than others about how they look. To illustrate,
Recent
Correct article usage
a Recent
show examples
study shows 40%
student
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of student
show examples
drop out
their
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of their
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studies
due to
Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
weight as they feel bullied and
under confidence
Correct your spelling
underconfidence
show examples
. To recapitulate , By agglomerating all the point aforementioned above number of obese
people
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are
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
rapidly because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
many reasons and it
eventully
Correct your spelling
eventually
leads to serious health problems. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should provide proper
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
and knowledge about
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
of
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
Use synonyms
and should promote physical activities.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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