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All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

#world #people #effects
Health is
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 first priority.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 is sad but true that
obesity
 is increasing day by day. There are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 situation and it leads to some
hazardious
Correct your spelling
hazardous
 effects.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reasons and effects of
this
 scenario.
To begin
 with, There are a plethora of causes of
obesity
. The first and foremost is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of knowledge.
people
Capitalize word
People
show examples
 do not have enough knowledge about healthy
food
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 and
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 to keep the body healthy. They eat unhealthy
food
 regardless of their negative
effcts
Correct your spelling
effects
 as they do not know anything about how it affects
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, lack of time is another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
obesity
. In
this
fast pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
show examples
 world
people
 rely on fast
food
 and other
ready made
Add a hyphen
ready-made
show examples
 meals as they don't have enough time to cook because of their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Other than that ,
people
 are not engaging in physical activity these days
such
 as sports and walking because of
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle.
Hence
 ,
obesity
 is increasing. Another point is presentation and promotion of junk
food
 leads
people
 to crave to eat them. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example ,
people
 are more dragged to KFC
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
 because of
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
appearnce
Correct your spelling
appearance
 and delightful aroma which leads to some serious health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. There are various problems
arises
Correct subject-verb agreement
arise
show examples
 because of
obesity
. Overweight
people
 are more prone to heart
releted
Correct your spelling
related
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
due to
 less exercise and other
phyical
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities. Consuming too much street
food
 and extra calories leads to
highet
Correct your spelling
highest
higher
cholesterole
Correct your spelling
cholesterol
cholesterols
levles
Correct your spelling
levels
results
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a highr
show examples
highr
Correct your spelling
higher
 chance of getting
heart
Correct article usage
a heart
show examples
 attack and stroke.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 overweight
people
 often suffer from anxiety as they feel less confident than others about how they look. To illustrate,
Recent
Correct article usage
a Recent
show examples
 study shows 40%
student
Change preposition
of student
show examples
 drop out
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 studies
due to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 weight as they feel bullied and
under confidence
Correct your spelling
underconfidence
show examples
. To recapitulate , By agglomerating all the point aforementioned above number of obese
people
 are
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 rapidly because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many reasons and it
eventully
Correct your spelling
eventually
 leads to serious health problems. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide proper
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
 and knowledge about
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
 and should promote physical activities.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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