Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online than face to face, is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development

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Change preposition

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present

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the present

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time,

mostly

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most

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individuals prefer to connect with others through online social platforms, which I assume is a negative development.

This

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is because

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apply

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virtual interactions gives easy accessibility to personal information and increase the crime level by targeting vulnerable age group. First of all, people can easily be fooled by virtual friends. To expound, connecting to someone through social media makes

easy

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it easy

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for

fraudster

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fraudsters

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to hack personal information, particularly, one's bank details. There are many who got trapped by hackers and had to bear hefty financial

loss

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losses

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As a result

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this

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, sometimes, they even lost their lifetime earnings.

For instance

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, in 2023, a

business woman

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businesswoman

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in America lost her

hard- earned

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hard-earned

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money just with a single click and by trusting a stranger who met her on

dating

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a dating

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website. Her only mistake was clicking on a link sent by her online friend.

Therefore

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Correct article usage

the

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abovementioned incident vividly

explain

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explains

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the negative effects of socializing online.

Moreover

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this

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trend puts the lives of younger children at stake. They are the easy targets of online offenders, where they can access children's online contact

list

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lists

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and pretend to be someone known

for

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them.

Hence

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, minors got trapped promptly just after exchanging their photographs

that

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which

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further

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put them in trouble. Illustrating

this

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more, recently a child got trapped just by accepting a friend request from a fake profile. A person pretended to be

family

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a family

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friend, but in reality was a sexual predator , called an innocent child to rape before killing her.

Therefore

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this

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mishappening persuades the community to believe that online social sites are unsafe ,

distrustful

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and distrustful

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and

brings

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bring

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more troubles. In conclusion, the trend of online socializing attracts crime and specifically affects

the

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apply

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adolescents by snatching their innocence.

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Tue Aug 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more developed and clearly related to the topic. Make sure to logically structure your ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of socializing online. Provide a balanced view in your response to the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online than face to face, is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In many countries, not enough students study science subjects. What are the causes? What will be the effect on society?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?