Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
day and life, music
has been a symbol of happiness. some people
believe that music
is Something that can bring people
of different nations and ages together. I completely agree with this
statement
To begin
with, Music
is a symbol of art. Music
that can be listened to by each and every person in this
world regardless of age, social status, and gender. This
is because Music
does not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds. For Example
, Korean pop music
is currently well-known in every part of the world engaging people
from different countries and cultures and
it can unite Correct word choice
apply
people
from different stages of age music
that can make people
content with the unique feeling resulting from the dynamic range of music
types that can generate happiness joy or love and affection.
On the other hand
, music
can be enjoyed with various forms of arts and performances, festivals, concerts or live music
are the particular types of shows that we can easily watch with our buddies or loved ones. They might speak different languages or do not know much about each other's cultures but they have a common language which is the music
itself. The audience are also
from different countries and speak different languages but they all enjoy the performances.
In conclusion, In my opinion, music
is the common language in the world which plays a key role in uniting people
across all age groups as well as
from different cultural backgroundsSubmitted by hadiashahid331 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
It's important to have an introduction and conclusion that clearly define your thesis and summarize your arguments, which you have done. You could enhance your introduction and conclusion to have a stronger impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has main points that support your argument, but they need further development and depth. Use more detailed examples and deeper analysis to strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong opinion towards one. This shows a full understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear but could be expressed more comprehensively. Work on developing your ideas further and showing how they relate to the question.
Task Achievement
Include relevant examples to support your claims. While you've provided an example with Korean pop music, adding more specific, varied examples would strengthen your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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