IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

#plans #show #park #first
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given maps compare the facilities and their locations in a public park at first opening in 1920 and today.
As
Change preposition
From
show examples
 an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, a cafe, an amphitheatre for concerts, a
water
Use synonyms
 feature, and an area for children have emerged in
this
Linking Words
 period of time.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the advent of new options, some old ones are closed now
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, a stage for musicians, a fountain, and a pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants. It is clear from the figures, that the glass house and some seats have been substituted by a
water
Use synonyms
 feature adjacent to the entrance underground car park. On the north side of there, the pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants has been cleared up and
instead
Linking Words
 of that a children’s play area has been established.
Additionally
Linking Words
, one of the three rose gardens which was between the ARNOLD AVENUE entrance door and the pond has been replaced by a cafe. As it is obvious from the maps, the western seats and the southern rose garden have disappeared and in their
location
Add a comma
,location
show examples
 an amphitheatre for concerts has been opened.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 a central fountain is replaced by a rose garden which is surrounded by some seats.
Submitted by atieh.moradkhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: