Some people believe more action can be taken to prevent crime, while other think that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is argued that many individuals believe that we should do more to stop criminals,

whereas

others think that just a little bit can be done. In my opinion, I think that the more action we take, the more crime can be stopped. Those who argue atrocity no longer needs addressing point to technological innovations.

This

situation is most apparent in authoritarian nations. Security surveillance can include the use of street cameras, digital tracking, and eavesdropping on private communications.

For instance

, in South Korea the wrongdoing rate in most urban areas is negligible and the average person reports little anxiety about possible criminality,

in contrast

to periods in the past when there were more instances of robbery, assault, theft, pickpocketing, and so on. These technological shifts have greatly aided law enforcement in prosecuting criminals thereby

also

increasing the deterrence of potential offences.

However

, the transgression still exists and can be countered by addressing the deeper, societal roots. The main cause of all violations is poverty. When individuals earn a wage sufficient to maintain a decent standard of living, the entire motive for most crimes disappears. The evidence for

this

is that in wealthy countries where there is a relatively even distribution of wealth, the crime rates are low and the police do not require draconian punishment or surveillance techniques. Beyond income, it is

also

possible to invest in improving mental health. Many people today spend too much time online and are vulnerable to extremist views. An applied significant proportion of crimes could be eliminated by encouraging people to spend more time outdoors in their community. In conclusion, though technology has reduced certain kinds of criminality greatly, it is still possible to lower scandal rates by embracing a holistic, societal approach. The complete eradication of cases is likely impossible and

therefore

there will always be a need to make progress.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe more action can be taken to prevent crime, while other think that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this problem be solved?

the number of children that read book for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. what are the reason for this? how can we encourage children to read more?

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?