Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

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There are many underdeveloped

countries

Use synonyms

in the world. Many believe that a method to solve

this

Linking Words

problem would be giving financials to

those nation

Change the determiner

that nation

those nations

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it is my personal opinion that that sentiment is faulty, and

this

Linking Words

essay will

eloquate

Correct your spelling

eloquent

on why

Change the capitalization

show examples

think so.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the problem that many poorer

countries

Use synonyms

faces

Change the verb form

face

show examples

can't only be solved with money. A popular saying that relates to

this

Linking Words

is: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to feed and you feed him for a lifetime". The issue lies in many things

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

riches can't solve.

For example

Linking Words

, a faulty education system leads to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of manpower,

underdeveloped

Correct word choice

and underdeveloped

show examples

social systems result in lower

qualities

Fix the agreement mistake

quality

show examples

of life and

Linking Words

overall

Correct article usage

an overall

show examples

lack of enthusiasm. It should be noted that these are underlying problems that require systematic changes, not simply financial. Other than that, it should be noted that there are other reasons why giving money to poorer

countries

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

ultimately ineffective. First and foremost, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

no guarantee that

such

Linking Words

funds will be used to

further

Linking Words

the development of these

countries

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, as embezzlement and corruption are

also

Linking Words

latent problems in poorer

countries

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, the acts

promotes

Change the verb form

promote

show examples

a relationship in which the richer country becomes the "provider", which can be used against the nation that receives the charity.

And

Correct word choice

Last

show examples

last

Linking Words

but not least, these funds make the recipient

dependant

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

on the larger nation, which usually results in assimilation

Change preposition

into

show examples

the larger country. All in all, it is

Change preposition

apply

show examples

beliefs

Fix the agreement mistake

belief

show examples

that simply giving aid to poor

countries

Use synonyms

' finances is not a move

that is

Linking Words

effective in the long run.

Although

Linking Words

it certainly does help,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that developed

countries

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

help by encouraging

further

Linking Words

engagement with said nations, through

collaberations

Correct your spelling

collaboration

collaborations

, communication and foreign relations. These actions will prove to be more beneficial to both the provider and the receiver.

Submitted by k2englishcenter on Tue Aug 29 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a work place every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

In their advertising, bussiness nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?