some people think that going to the gym is one of the most important factors in achieving good health. Do you think that people can be healthy without going to the gym? What other factors contribute towards good health?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Given are two graphs concerning the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issue.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the former table indicates how many
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

customers are in numerous countries in Europe, the latter pie chart demonstrates the figure
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
e-shopping in these nations. One particularly interesting fact highlighted in the first chart is that there were
up-ward
Correct your spelling
upward

The word up-ward doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
trends witnessed in almost all data except for Germany.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
overwhelming majority of online shopping in the second graph is
France
Change preposition
in France

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
. Regarding the table, launching at exactly 16
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
in 1995, the number of
Internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

users in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

show examples
climbed slightly by 6
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
after a
half decade
Add a hyphen
half-decade

It appears that half decade is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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, before accelerating exponentially to 41
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
in 2004. In stark contrast, that in Germany had an initial point
at
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
5
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
, followed by a vigorous explosion
at
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
314
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
in 2000, which reached its peak
since
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
1995.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it drastically slid away to its bottom line
at
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
15
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of the period. Notwithstanding the homogenous progressive growth patterns,
Internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

customers in France and Switzerland bear little resemblance in
level
Add an article
the level

The noun phrase level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of growth.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the former has a gradual growth from 1
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to a singular noun
million

The singular quantifier 1 is followed by the plural noun millions. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

show examples
to 4
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
, the latter steadily
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises

It seems that the verb rise does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
between 2
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
and 6
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
during a 9-year time epoch.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, starting at the smallest point at 0.5
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
in 1995, that in Spain consistently hiked
at
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
precisely 2
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of the stage. In terms of the provided pie chart, no other proportions are as high as
Internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sales in France, which accounted for roughly 45%. At the opposite end of the scale, the trivial part belonged to those in Germany with approximately 20%. Meanwhile, e-shopping in Switzerland took up the second most remarkable percentage with around 25%.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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