IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree. #people #

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #disease
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Many individuals believe that
government
 should focus on abating
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution
 and housing problems which help
people
 to prevent many
diseases
 and illnesses. I agree with
this
 statement and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
 my own view.
To begin
 with, it is admittedly true that many
diseases
 were started
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 housing. In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
people
are going
Verb problem
have become
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
careless about their lifestyle which
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
Add a comma
cause,
show examples
cause
Correct your spelling
case
show examples
 many
diseases
 were increased at present time.
This
problem
 is not only an individual
problem
 but
also
 it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 a society and nation.
In addition
,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution
has become increased
Wrong verb form
is increasing
show examples
day
 by
day
 which is
also
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 mankind. Frequently,
people
are throw
Change the verb form
are throwing
are thrown
show examples
 they are housing
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 on
roadside
Add an article
the roadside
show examples
 or other places where they live. It is not only harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 society but
also
 harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
.
However
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 are able to
reducing
Change the verb
reduce
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution
 and housing
problem
then
 it is possible to prevent many
diseases
.
For example
,
according
Change preposition
in
show examples
 to
last
 10 years, in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
show examples
 more than 5,000
people
 died
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 cholera dengue and malaria every year. In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
were
Verb problem
have
show examples
 started to campaign against those
diseases
 and
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 reducing that
problem
 which outcome is positive for
people
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should aware
people
 so that they
were
Verb problem
can
show examples
 abate
pollution
,
otherwise
this
problem
 will
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
day
 by
day
. If an authority focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving
pollution
 and housing
problem
then
 we can prevent
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of disease.
To conclude
,
pollution
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and housing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
has become
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
day
 by
day
. In
this
 season many
diseases
also
 increase so if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 would focus
those
Change preposition
on those
show examples
 problems
then
 they can prevent a lot of
diseases
.
Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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