IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say part-time jobs are useful for full-time students because they not only earn money but also gain career experience. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #jobs #students #money #gain #career
The trend, earning
while
 learning is growing exponentially and
students
 are eager to work part-
time
 jobs
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their studies.
This
 growth is because of many reasons like they need to pay huge fees, daily expenses and to gain future career experience.
This
 trend has a few benefits and some disadvantages as well. We shall discuss them in detail.
Firstly
, Part-
time
 jobs are helpful in many ways and
students
 nowadays are keen to do so. In the new era,
students
 are more active and eager to achieve their goals. In
this
 social media age,
students
 are more towards showoff and posting lavish pictures.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 they need more money and a good career to have all
such
 stuff. To fulfil their own aspirations,
students
 are working hard.
For instance
,
last
 year, I started working
while
 I was doing graduation. I worked for a software company for around 3-4 hours daily and was earning good money
while
 my study. I
also
 got industrial experience at the same
time
 which helped me later
while
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my placement.
Secondly
,
Students
while
 working part-
time
 earn and pay their own fees, expenses and rent. They don't become a burden to their parents and
also
 support themself.
On the other hand
, It has a few disadvantages
as well as
 it requires extra effort and
time
 which sometimes causes a loss of concentration in studies.
Students
 are not able to manage their balance between studies and work or put additional
time
 to work in greed.
For example
, One of my friends was working in a restaurant after college.
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
show examples
 he started working for 3 hours only and he was able to earn a good amount. But because of greed he started working extra hours
consequently
 he wasn't able to study well and got poor marks in his exams. In conclusion, I believe part-
time
 jobs definitely help you to earn money and job experience which is a great way to spend your valuable
time
. But it is
also
 important to make a balance in both to fulfil your goals.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career experience
  • financial independence
  • time management
  • interpersonal skills
  • work ethics
  • academic performance
  • practical experience
  • part-time job
  • full-time student
  • prioritization
  • financial burden
  • extracurricular activities
  • professional environment
  • networking events
  • stress management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: