IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
#show #results #survey #adult #education #first #adults #study #people #costs #report #university #lecturer #information
The graphs illustrate
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
 outcome of
questionnaire
Correct article usage
the questionnaire
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 adult education. The first bar chart provides the main reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why grown
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 decide to take knowledge.  The next graph gives information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how individuals could
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
decide
 their
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
 for education.   
Overall
, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that the greatest proportion of attraction
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 is people's interest in the subject and it is important to note
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the largest proportion cost of
study
 might be individuals.  
According to
 the first graph, 40% of people decide to
study
 for interest in
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
,
also
 38% to gain
qualification
Add an article
a qualification
the qualification
show examples
 and at least 9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
meet
Change the form of the verb
meeting
show examples
 with new people.
Moreover
, adults who
is considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 that
study
 helpful for
current
Correct pronoun usage
their current
show examples
 job as similar with percentage
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to improve prospects of promotion and
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
enjou
Correct your spelling
enjoy
 learning. 12% choose
study
Add the particle
to study
show examples
 to
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to change jobs.     In relation to
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
corses
Correct your spelling
courses
, the highest percentage is 40% that should be paid for
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
 is individuals and 35% are employers. The lowest number of
supporter
Fix the agreement mistake
supporters
show examples
 is  taxpayers 25%.
Submitted by gulnurayau on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words study with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • stakeholders
  • pursue further education
  • financial contribution
  • survey results
  • policy implications
  • correlation
  • adult education
  • distribution of costs
  • significant differences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: