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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that sports play an important role in society.Other think they are nothing more than a leisure activity.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #role #society #leisure #activity
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These days,
while
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 some
people
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 argue that sport has a crucial role in our community,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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 others believe that it is just a type of entertainment activity.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and will give my opinion in the conclusion.
According to
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 the first argument, the
practise
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practice
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 of a certain exercise may play a significant role in our society for many reasons,
first
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First
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 of all, it
considers
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is considered
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 one of the ways to keep
people
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 healthy
well
Rephrase
apply
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and
living
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live
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 a natural life,
for example
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;some
people
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 suffer from many diseases that can appear with no spending a few hours to doing
sports
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such
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 as ; heart , overweight and lack of activity .
However
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, all these illnesses can be prevented by practising certain activities like;walking,yoga and swimming.
In addition
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,
sports
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 encourage
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to save up their energy by moving and they will not feel lazy which is the main reason
this
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 nobody practices exercise.
On the other hand
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 ,
in contrast
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 to that some
people
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 believe that sport is only for
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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free
Add an article
the free
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Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
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 it is considered a leisure habit.
Therefore
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, especially for young who think that
sports
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 are just about entertaining themselves no more than any other thing.
For instance
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; what is notable is that a lot of women and men practice walking exercises not because they want to keep their health well but because they consider it as a part of their leisure
time
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 and can have a fun
time
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 with these
sports
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.,
Also
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 they prefer to do it as a daily route that can escape from stress.especially the worker
people
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 who do not find
time
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 to go out for entertainment.
To conclude
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,
sports
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 play a crucial role in our lives because they can be one of the important therapies.In my opinion, doing
sports
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 is something
that is
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 necessary for my daily routine it assists in keeping me feeling fresh all day.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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