In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? What is your opinion on that?
Nowadays, it might be clearly noticed that the number of the elderly is gradually uplifting in most parts of the world.
This
essay claims that the following trend has more of a beneficial impact on society as it proves that the medical sphere is improving each day and more people get the opportunity to be cured of various diseases. Another point that supports my opinion is that the older generation has far more interesting experiences they might share with the younger ones.
The medical sphere is getting better every single day in today's reality. It cannot be denied that there are much more sophisticated items of technology, used in curing life-threatening illnesses than there used to be a couple of decades ago. Society is able to get proper treatment even for such
diseases as cancer that were supposed to be incurable before. This
fact enhances the proportion of the elderly in the population. For example
,
according to
a recent survey, in Russia, a higher percentage of older people (70% compared to 35% which was 10 years ago) have been treated and looked after in medical institutions.
Another reason I would like to present is the positive impact that the previous generations are having on the younger ones. It is quite significant for a person to have someone who is wiser and more experienced in different fields to be supported in some life-changing moments or other stressful situations. Sometimes all one needs is the feeling of attachment to somebody who might help them and give a proper piece of advice. For instance
, regarding the latest research that has been held in the UK, the vast majority of teenagers and young adults address their grandparents or just older acquaintances when they need to get advice and make a decision in life.
In conclusion, I would like to summarise that society is getting advantages from the fact that the number of the elderly is slowly growing. Firstly
, it has shown noticeable improvements in medicine. Secondly
, it has given the youth a great opportunity to rely on the older's experience in problem-solving or in any other issues.Submitted by katerina21.05 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introductions to your examples to smoothly integrate them into your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to directly conclude your examples with a clear link back to how they support your main point for stronger coherence.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by elaborating on your examples with more details or statistical evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion on both viewpoints, even when arguing for one side, to fully address the essay question.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis statement that guides the direction of your essay efficiently.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow between paragraphs and clear topic sentences make your essay coherent and easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the medical advancements in Russia, effectively supports your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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