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Band 5

In some culture, children are being told that they can achieve anything if they work hard.What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#culture #children #work #message
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The great majority of people believe that working hard is very essential for children,
while
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 others support
an
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the
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 idea that it is not necessary. In
this
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 essay, I will look at
the
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apply
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both sides and try to draw some conclusions. One of the main positives of
hardworking
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hard work
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 is
the
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discipline, which helps us
to
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reduce
a
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laziness. Nowadays, a lot of kids may face
with
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apply
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the addiction
of
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to
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the
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apply
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social media
as well as
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 many other distractors almost everywhere.
Consequetly
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Consequently
, they spend
much
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a lot of
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 time using phones and their grades at school are dropping. If
young
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the young
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 generation had overcome the issue of time management, which is closely connected with industriousness, it would help them to improve their marks.
Moreover
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, successful people usually have
work-time
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a work-time
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 balance and they do their best to
achive
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achieve
 various goals, so
this
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 example would be
the
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a
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 great motivation for youngsters. Turning to the other side of the argument, the biggest drawback is the pressure. Children can be miserable
due to
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 other
people
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people's
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 thoughts. Looking at the statistics, students at schools commit suicide because of their academic performance. It
is
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has
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 become
problem
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a problem
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 in many countries,
especilally
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especially
 in Japan, where teachers and parents as well, can penalize pupils for every bad mark. In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of being hardworking overweight the drawbacks, but only if society doesn't go overboard with the amount of it. We should care how to teach kids to be responsible, how to like the work that they have done and how to manage their time.
Submitted by aida.ai2000 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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