IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #jobs #shortage #money
Acceptance of unsatisfying situations in life ,like poverty, has become a controversial topic. Though there are some logical reasons for accepting what an individual has achieved, I personally believe that they should never stop trying for better circumstances. On one hand, it can be said that with acceptance of one's current situation, they can be happy and joyful with what they have already had.
Thus
, despite the problems, they can be confident about their achievements and enjoy them. What is more, wanting more in different aspects of life can become an obsession, which may prevent them from focusing on other things. To illustrate, being obsessed with high grades, a pupil may lose the chance to make friends in school and socialize. These are the reasons why some believe that accepting an inadequate situation is a good idea.
On the other hand
,
this
 is an undeniable fact that accepting a particular low-level position in something can be a prevention of development and improvement. Individuals must be aware of their abilities and use them in the best possible way. By way of illustration, if someone gets
along with
 an unfair work environment where co-workers do not let them grow, they will never get a promotion or a higher salary.
Moreover
, trying for a better living can be beneficial for everyone, especially in developing countries. It takes everyone's effort to make a better society where all the citizens can benefit from a high-quality living.
This
 is why human beings must try to work things right.
To conclude
,
although
 people have to enjoy their days and try to appreciate what they have, I subscribe to the view that everyone should know their potential and try to enhance conditions for themselves and their surrounding people.
Submitted by Nima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: