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In most Asian countries including Taiwan, we only studied in the senior high school for 3 years, so my ninth grade was in Taipei Lishan Junior High School and tenth, eleventh and twelfth grade is in Taipei Municipal Chenggong High School.

#asian #countries #taiwan #school #years #grade #taipei #lishan #chenggong
In most Asian countries including Taiwan, we only studied in the senior high school for 3 years, so my ninth grade was in Taipei Lishan Junior High School and
Correct pronoun usage
my tenth
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tenth
Correct pronoun usage
my tenth
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, eleventh and twelfth
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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is
Wrong verb form
were
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 in Taipei Municipal Chenggong High School.
he
Capitalize word
He
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 provided line graphs illustrate data on the proportion of people owning electrical devices
as well as
 the number of time people spent doing household chores in one family from 1920 to 2019, in a period of approximately 100 years.
Overall
, it can be seen that the utilization of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners increased sharply during the period.
Additionally
, washing machines witnessed a marginal rise. With the help of
these sophisticated equipment
Change the determiner
this sophisticated equipment
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, the spending time per week dropped significantly.
To begin
 with, the number of individuals who used refrigerators was nearly zero in 1920. Afterwards,
this
 amount increased dramatically to over 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1940 and
then
 reached the highest point of 100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1980 and still now the rate is stable.
In contrast
, the percentage of people who used washing machines was the highest in the beginning around 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
However
,
this
 number grew slightly with a little fluctuation in the year 1980.
As a consequence
, the utilization ratio of washing machines became the lowest.
On the other hand
, with the assistance of electrical appliances, there was a considerable decline , of approximately 40
percentages
Change the noun form
percentage
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 points, for those doing housekeeping work in one family during
year
Change the article
the year
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 1920 to 2019.
Submitted by skin1119 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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