IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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Working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same institutions throughout their
career
Use synonyms
 journey gives you a sense of belongingness. And we cannot deny the fact that working
to
Change preposition
for
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 a different
company
Use synonyms
 will give you an edge for
career
Use synonyms
 growth and development. First of all, working through the same organization gives
one
Use synonyms
 a sense of belongingness.
One
Use synonyms
 will not see her colleague as staff,
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
Change preposition
as a
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a
Correct your spelling
as
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 family, because they
knew
Wrong verb form
know
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 well each other and
its
Change the pronoun
it
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 gives them the loyalty that someone has their back without hesitation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 provides less stress to
people
Use synonyms
 working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
company
Use synonyms
 without having to worry
one
Use synonyms
 might get bullied or backstabbed
while
Linking Words
 performing
one
Use synonyms
’s duties and responsibilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 will have a good impact on
one
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’s growth and
career
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 advancement.
People
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 who
transferred
Wrong verb form
transfer
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 from a new environment will likely develop a new set of skills and information that will make them competitive in their chosen
career
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. Say
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,
one
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 learns how to multitask
while
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 performing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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field and administrative work.
In addition
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,
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 environment allows
one
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 to learn how to manage
people
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 of different
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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 and
race
Fix the agreement mistake
races
show examples
 by being flexible and culturally interactive.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it makes
one
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
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strive to be better and more competitive by upgrading their skills through updated seminars, and trainings making them more proactive. To sum it up, both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own perks of contributing
Use synonyms
one’s
Change preposition
to one’s
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 choices of
career
Use synonyms
 moves. Regardless of which
one
Use synonyms
 to consider,
people
Use synonyms
 will
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to consider which makes them more active, more
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 and at the same time
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 the workplace and
company
Use synonyms
 doing their maximum potential.
Submitted by snonahmae on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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