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Band 4

some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
Working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same institutions throughout their
career
 journey gives you a sense of belongingness. And we cannot deny the fact that working
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a different
company
 will give you an edge for
career
 growth and development. First of all, working through the same organization gives
one
 a sense of belongingness.
One
 will not see her colleague as staff,
rather
Correct word choice
but rather
show examples
Change preposition
as a
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 family, because they
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 well each other and
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 gives them the loyalty that someone has their back without hesitation.
Secondly
, it
also
 provides less stress to
people
 working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
company
 without having to worry
one
 might get bullied or backstabbed
while
 performing
one
’s duties and responsibilities.
On the other hand
, working in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
company
 will have a good impact on
one
’s growth and
career
 advancement.
People
 who
transferred
Wrong verb form
transfer
show examples
 from a new environment will likely develop a new set of skills and information that will make them competitive in their chosen
career
. Say
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,
one
 learns how to multitask
while
 performing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
field and administrative work.
In addition
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 environment allows
one
 to learn how to manage
people
 of different
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 and
race
Fix the agreement mistake
races
show examples
 by being flexible and culturally interactive.
Lastly
, it makes
one
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
strive to be better and more competitive by upgrading their skills through updated seminars, and trainings making them more proactive. To sum it up, both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own perks of contributing
one’s
Change preposition
to one’s
show examples
 choices of
career
 moves. Regardless of which
one
 to consider,
people
 will
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to consider which makes them more active, more
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 and at the same time
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 the workplace and
company
 doing their maximum potential.
Submitted by snonahmae on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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