The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The provided chart depicts the
number
of shop closures and openings in a country from 2011 to 2018. It is clearly observed from the graph that the economic trend between
shops
declined as the
number
of
shops
which were closed increased and
similarly
the
number
of new
shops
fell. In 2011, the
number
of new
shops
was about 8500 and
this
figure
dramatically decreased to 4000 in the next year.
In addition
, from 2012 to 2014, just above 6000 new
shops
were set up and in 2015
this
number
fell to 4000.
Moreover
, between 2015 and 2017,
this
figure
almost remained constant at 4000.
Then
, over the next years, the
number
of opening new
shops
dropped to 3000. For
shops
which were ,closed the
figure
stood at 6200 in 2011.
Furthermore
, over the next 4 years,
this
number
fluctuated around 6500.
In contrast
, the proportion of closed
shops
dropped substantially to under 1000,
whereas
for the next year, it rose to over 5000.
In addition
,
this
figure
stood at almost the same place for the next 2 years.
Submitted by Fatemeghahremanii97 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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