IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some would argue that the
government
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 should not provide financial
support
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 for
artists
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,
while
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 others say
artists
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 should be well supported by the
government
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. I believe that the
government
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 should always financially fund
artists
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. On the one hand, the
government
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 must not provide a large amount of
money
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 for creatives. People who believe
this
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 think it is better if the
government
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 uses that
money
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 for hospitals and schools rather than spending it on supporting
artists
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, which they believe will not benefit the community.
For example
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, in the past, Saudi Arabia preferred to spend its
money
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 on public transportation and schools, which led many Saudi
artists
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 to move out of the
country
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.
However
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, I believe that a lack of
support
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 for
artists
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 can negatively affect the appearance of the
country
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, especially in terms of architecture and public art.
On the other hand
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, providing strong financial
support
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 for
artists
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 can benefit society and culture. By helping them, it can impact the
country
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’s visual identity, including the quality of buildings and street art.
Moreover
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,
artists
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 can
also
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 express the nation’s identity through music and painting.
For instance
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, ten years ago, Saudi Arabia did not have any museums, but when they invested a large amount of
money
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 in
artists
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, ten museums were opened around the
country
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that supporting
artists
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 can have a significant effect on the
country
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 and can
also
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 unlock a new culture. In conclusion, not supporting
artists
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 can lead to a lack of culture, and no
artists
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 will be recognized under the
country
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’s name because of the lack of
support
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.
Although
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, supporting them will create a big change for the community and the
country
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 itself.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed arguments or specific examples related to the potential benefits of art and cultural investment, such as tourism or economic stimulation.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the paragraphs align logically with clear topic sentences to enhance the flow of ideas throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points more effectively and restating your opinion in a more impactful manner.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and support it effectively with examples, which demonstrates good engagement with the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a logical framework for your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
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