IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant
#show #changes #place #three #areas #crime #port #city #center #summarise #information #features #comparisions
The multi-line graph illustrates data regarding
crime
 among types of
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 from different regions in New Port City between 2003 and 2012. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
 the
overall
 incidence has dramatically decreased in the considered time period, albeit with specific trends for each event. First off, in 2003
burglary
 was less in
crime
,
while
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
increasingly numerous
car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
 and
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
show examples
.
However
, the
crime
 that occurred has aced a steep and constant decrease in number of the
burglary
Fix the agreement mistake
burglaries
show examples
, slumping from 3700 to roughly 1000 between 2004 and 2008. At the same time, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slowly dipped,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from 2700 dropped down to nearly 2000. After that, the events of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burglary
 and
car
theft
 remained steady quantity,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
approximately 1500 and 2300 respectively.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery faced only a moderate drop in the rate of
condition
Add an article
a condition
show examples
, which
nearly
Add a missing verb
was nearly
show examples
 one-fifth in the given temporal interval, meanwhile
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off at roughly 500 from 2003 to 2012.
Finally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burglary
 which had the highest
crime
 things
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the study period, rose by 3400, following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
theft
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery at the conclusion of
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
 interval.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, burglary, car, theft with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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