IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant
#show #changes #place #three #areas #crime #port #city #center #summarise #information #features #comparisions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The multi-line graph illustrates data regarding
crime
Use synonyms
 among types of
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 from different regions in New Port City between 2003 and 2012. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
 incidence has dramatically decreased in the considered time period, albeit with specific trends for each event. First off, in 2003
burglary
Use synonyms
 was less in
crime
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
increasingly numerous
car
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
 and
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the
crime
Use synonyms
 that occurred has aced a steep and constant decrease in number of the
Use synonyms
burglary
Fix the agreement mistake
burglaries
show examples
, slumping from 3700 to roughly 1000 between 2004 and 2008. At the same time, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slowly dipped,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from 2700 dropped down to nearly 2000. After that, the events of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burglary
Use synonyms
 and
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 remained steady quantity,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
approximately 1500 and 2300 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery faced only a moderate drop in the rate of
condition
Add an article
a condition
show examples
, which
nearly
Add a missing verb
was nearly
show examples
 one-fifth in the given temporal interval, meanwhile
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off at roughly 500 from 2003 to 2012.
Finally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
burglary
Use synonyms
 which had the highest
crime
Use synonyms
 things
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the study period, rose by 3400, following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery at the conclusion of
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
 interval.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, burglary, car, theft with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: