IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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Nowadays, surfing through various websites to find items that
people
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 want to buy is the most common and convenient way to make a purchase. But that does not mean that it will result in the closure of in-person stores completely. It is mainly because
people
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 still prefer the things they see and do not want to wait to get those things. Among other reasons, the first one is that many buyers do not trust the items they see online. With too much competition in the e-commerce market, everything is available easily and cheaply, but the promised quality is never guaranteed.
For instance
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,
while
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 ordering clothes from the internet,
people
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 often get the wrong sizes, and the desired quality of wearables is compromised.
Similarly
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, when making expensive purchases
such
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 as furniture or automobiles,
people
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 want to see and try before spending loads of money on something. Another reason is the wait times. In today’s world, everyone is competing to fulfil deliveries as fast as possible, but it is natural that many times vendors face problems causing delays. It is more common on the days of big sales like Christmas, Black Friday, and Easter. In that case,
people
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 prefer to go and take the items they like before the stocks or sales run out. It is almost impossible to deny the need for on-ground shopping centres just because the e-commerce industry is blooming. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the statement that brick-and-mortar businesses are going away in the future. The fact that
people
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 want things they know are right for them and want them fast is going to stay the same for generations to come and so is the need for on-ground stores.
Submitted by farazahmedzaur on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument. However, pay attention to providing more developed examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Make sure to use transition words to improve the coherence and cohesion of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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