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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012.

The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012.
#bar #show #information #students #four #countries
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The data provided in the form of a bar chart illustrates how many
students
Use synonyms
 moved to English-speaking countries for study in two years, 2004 and 2012,
while
Linking Words
 the table
copmares
Correct your spelling
compares
 the foreign
students
Use synonyms
 as
Add an article
a
show examples
percentage of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 student number.
Overall
Linking Words
, USA and Canada were the most and least popular countries among stronger
students
Use synonyms
 over the surveyed period.
Also
Linking Words
, the tendency
of going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to the USA, the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
,
AUstralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and Canada
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 over the next 8 years. From the
table
Add a comma
,table
show examples
 it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that the number of
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
 from other nations saw a rise in all countries compared with the population of
students
Use synonyms
, except America. In 2004, about 180,000 immigrated to the USA
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
study
 and that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
grew by 70,000 in 2012.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
show examples
, the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of American
students
Use synonyms
 and foreign ones did not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 over the period and stood at 2%. The UK and Australia followed the same pattern and the figure for pupils went up from 120,000 to nearly 200,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the attendees in education systems in the UK and
Australiain
Correct your spelling
Australia in
Australia
 from other parts of the world, 4% and 5%, respectively. Canada
wa
Correct your spelling
was
 liked by
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people in the
Glob
Correct your spelling
globe
show examples
 for training and attracted only 60,000
learner
Change to a plural noun
learners
show examples
 in 2012
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 comprised 7% of
etire
Correct your spelling
all
canadian
Change the capitalization
Canadian
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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