Leaders and directors in an organization are frequently older people, Some People think young leaders would be better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organization #people

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It is true that senior management in

companies

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is filled with older

people

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While

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many

people

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argue that they should be replaced by young

people

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, I am of the opposite view that

company

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leadership must consist of mature

people

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who will bring effectiveness and efficiency to the organization. Mature leadership brings a myriad of attributes for a successful

company

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To begin

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with, they bring

wealth

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a wealth

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of experience to the table.

For instance

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, most of the CEOs of

companies

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are the ones who started the

company

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in the first place

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apply

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and worked their way up to understand how the business model work.

Secondly

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, taking risks is a part of becoming a leader,

whereas

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research has shown that the majority of young leaders will have second thoughts in taking

risk

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risks

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over rewards. As an example, it was Steve

job's

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Jobs's

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decision to disrupt the mobile phone market with high quality, and high price product which paid off to be a

sucessful

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successful

venture.

On the contrary

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, one would argue that young blood will bring modern thinking to a

company

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Firstly

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, the cognitive capability itself will not pave the way when it comes to making critical decisions in a tough environment.

Moreover

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, it is believed that 90 per cent of young leaders lack the ability to negotiate and have empathy towards their subordinates which is alarming.

This

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will not only create

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apply

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balance in teams

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but

also

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create a negative culture which will destroy the business eventually. In conclusion, though young leaders are the future of

companies

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, it is my view that they should be groomed properly and go through intensive training for years before taking up management roles in

companies

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Submitted by madonnasama on Fri Jul 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas within each paragraph. Currently, the essay could benefit from better internal cohesion, especially in explaining how specific examples directly support the main points.

task achievement

Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos (e.g., ‘how the business model work’ should be ‘how the business model works’, ‘sucessful’ should be ‘successful’).

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic and thesis statement effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and offers a forward-looking statement.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the mention of Steve Jobs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Leaders and directors in an organization are frequently older people, Some People think young leaders would be better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe we should protect all wild animals. Others believe it is only important to protect some. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantage?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.