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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995.

The pie charts below show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995.
#show #results #survey #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults
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The pie charts illustrate the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 among European
adults
Use synonyms
 in 2 different years, 1985 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that in 1995, there were more
activities
Use synonyms
 for
adults
Use synonyms
 to do in their leisure time compared to 1985. And watching TV
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the most common activity that
adults
Use synonyms
 love to do in their free time. There were about 5
activities
Use synonyms
 for
adults
Use synonyms
 to do in 1985. Watching TV was the most common thing to do with 32%, followed by 2
activities
Use synonyms
 which were eating out and talking with friends,
were
Correct pronoun usage
which were
show examples
 approximate to each other with 23% and 21%,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
besides
Linking Words
 friends,
adults
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 liked to talk with their family, which had 18%, the other
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as play sport, reading
book
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
 only had 6%. In 1995, the figure has been fluctuated a bit, watching TV still ranked at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place, being the most common activity that
adults
Use synonyms
 do, with 30%, which lower than in 1985.
Due to
Linking Words
 the development of technology, playing computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 was the second of the
activities
Use synonyms
 that
adults
Use synonyms
 commonly do, followed by talking with friends with 26%. Sadly, family conversation
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 only 7%, eating out
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 8%, and other
activities
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the least, 2%.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, adults with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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