IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is observed that today communication between family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of the growing
nThe
Correct your spelling
the
 issue of the growing
number
Use synonyms
 of obesity in the world has become a matter of discussion for many. In my view, poor dietary choices,
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle and
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 culture are main the reasons to name
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall outline the main causes for
this
Linking Words
 change and analyse the possible solutions.
umber
Correct your spelling
number
show examples
 of obesity in the world has become a matter of discussion for many. In my view, poor dietary choices,
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle and
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 culture are main the reasons to name
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall outline the main causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 change and analyse the possible solutions. There are multiple predominant factors resulting in
rapid
Add an article
the rapid
show examples
 growth of the
number
Use synonyms
 of obese
people
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 and decreasing quality of health.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in our today's world, we live a very
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 life, which leaves little to no room for cooking healthy
food
Use synonyms
 at home.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
people
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 resort to eating processed or
ready made
Add a hyphen
ready-made
show examples
 meals,
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
 is very high in both trans-saturated fat and sugar. Which is linked to many health ailments, including obesity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a recent study at Stanford
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 showed that most
people
Use synonyms
 living in Canada on average spent
7hours
Correct your spelling
7 hours
 or more sitting and doing no physical activity. That same study
also
Linking Words
 linked heart diseases and poor weight management among
people
Use synonyms
 with
such
Linking Words
 type of lifestyle.
Lastly
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has now become a part of our culture and
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 consume it on a daily basis. A very large
number
Use synonyms
 of studies show that a high
number
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 of calories, oil and sugar present in fast
food
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, is the main driving force behind cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and increased body fat. So what can be done? I believe that the problem has to be tackled on a
number
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 of levels.
For example
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
making healthy dietary choices that are low in sugar and fat, could go a long way in terms of
overall
Linking Words
 fitness.
In addition
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can impose new regulations to limit the amount of fructose, cholesterol and trans-saturated fat in fast
food
Use synonyms
 meals. Adding to
this
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 be beneficial to mandate offices and companies to hire fitness and nutritional coaches, to provide guidance to those who are looking to make positive changes in their diet. In conclusion, from the given arguments and examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 various solutions exist to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem, which
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 an effort from both
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. In the future, we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 only expect to see any improvement if
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
we work together to eliminate the causes of
this
Linking Words
 growing global issue.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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