The growing number of overweight is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the healthcare system has been heavily burdened by the increasing figures of illnesses related to obesity. It is contended that penetrating physical knowledge in the syllabus of educational institutions is the best alternative to redress the case, a standpoint which I staunchly endorse for various reasons that will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
this
essay.
First and foremost, the offspring needs to be exposed to various types of exercises as soon as possible to grow their interest in keeping healthy habits. For instance
, kids are likely to feel pressured when they are instructed to do certain physical actions because they will treat them as games with their peers, unlike adults. By introducing these healthy movements to children at their early stages of development, they will grow up remembering the significance of moving their bodies. Thus
, putting physical education lessons in the school's curriculum is an effective verdict.
Secondly
, it is mandatory for students to attend every lesson offered by the school, making it an effective alternative to build certain natures in human beings. For example
, not all of the attendees will have a high interest in sporting life, but they will be forced to do so in order to achieve better grades. As a result
, although
several people unwillingly do exercises, as long as they still follow the instructions, they will receive wellness benefits from those activities. Therefore
, forcing youngsters to move their physiques through a structured educational lesson in an educational program will be an effective tool to prevent obesity.
To conclude
, there can be no doubt that the best way to tackle the overweight issue is to put more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. Introducing a healthy lifestyle in the early ages of children as well as
utilising schools' mandatory settings are the reasons why formal academic institutions should teach human wellness in their classes.Submitted by dandelionandburdock on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should be distinct and serve its purpose. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be further developed to be more engaging and conclusive.
content
Use paragraphing to organize your ideas clearly. One idea should be elaborated per paragraph, followed by a relevant example or further explanation to support the main idea. The main points are supported but consider enhancing them with more specific examples and explanations.
linking
Strive for a smooth flow of ideas with clear connectivity and logic. Transition words and phrases should be used effectively to link ideas and paragraphs. Although the essay shows a logical flow, using a wider range of connectors could improve readability.
relevance
Focus on fully addressing all parts of the task. The response should be directly relevant to the task prompt, and all parts of the prompt should be addressed. The response is complete but could benefit from more elaboration on the points mentioned to fully address the task.
examples
Utilize more specific examples and evidence to support your opinions and ideas. These examples should be relevant and add value to your argument. Relevant examples are provided, but additional detail would strengthen the argument.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!