Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The government plays an important role in supporting
education
. I completely agree with the idea that it is just as important for the government to support the education
of illiterate adults
to be able to read and write, then
the funds should be invested in this
.
On the one hand why education
of adults
is important in society. Firstly
,the adults
would directly affect a country's development, the corporation needs people
to create wealth and the factory need worker to contribute to their workforce They also
need knowledge to support. Secondly
, a country needs funds to support development, and the finances come from taxes. Finally
, they will bring a prosperous future for the country, The technological progress, especially in the field of artificial intelligence, cannot be realized if people
are not literate. Therefore
, greater progress and development will only be possible if Governments prioritize the education
of young adults
.
On the other hand
, the progress of a nation depends on how the next generation is raised. This
is because adolescents, who have not yet been exposed to society and do not have to worry about making a living, have enough time and opportunities to learn professional skills. In other words
, since candidates for professional jobs have to spend a long time studying and receiving proper training, investing in the education
of adolescents is a must in order to produce future professionals such
as doctors, nurses and scientists. In addition
, a well-trained workforce will allow a variety of businesses and industries to flourish, facilitating international trade and the upcoming growth in wealth.
In conclusion, it is fundamental that there is a majority of well-educated people
in society, and governments should not only focus on the education
of young people
but also
allocate a special budget for literate adults
who cannot even read or write. In my opinion, education
for both groups is equally important.Submitted by ur790609922 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is fairly strong, with clear separation of ideas into separate paragraphs and transition of thoughts. However, some thoughts seem to be placed abruptly and could have had smoother transitions. Practice connecting thoughts and ideas in a more logical way.
task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps encapsulate the content of the essay. The writer has provided a holistic coverage of the topic, both discussing why governments should invest in adult and youth education.
lexical resource
While the essay has a good range of vocabulary, I noticed some instances where certain words were repetitively used. You are advised to enrich your lexical resource. Try to use synonyms or paraphrase your sentences to diversify your language usage.
grammar
Grammatical structures are generally accurate, with only occasional minor errors. However, you should avoid long, complex sentences that can sometimes lead to grammatical errors or unclear ideas. Practising simple and compound sentences could help avoid such grown-up errors.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!