IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

There is a growing problem with the lack of housing in megacities globally. In my opinion,
this
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 matter is very unpleasant for everyone and should be addressed as soon as possible.
This
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 issue has a lot of causes, but in
this
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 essay, I will address the migration from the countryside to urban areas and the cost of living. First and foremost, many choose to leave their hometowns for a better life. Since the world is evolving, there are more and more young and curious people who seek opportunities and a better life, so they move to larger towns. One of the aspects of opportunities is a higher level of education, as most small towns do not offer it. Because of that, the population in the evolved cities is rapidly increasing, causing a shortage of accommodation
,
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;
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therefore
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therefore,
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 many are left living on the streets. That could be solved by urbanising the agricultural parts of the country, so that there is no need for moving,
for instance
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, building higher-quality roads for traffic, more stores for easier access, and most importantly, more high-level educational establishments.
Second,
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the inflation is the most significant in the more evolved towns.
That is
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 because it offers better quality and new innovations. Housing is now a luxury that many living in megacities can not afford. It is, unfortunately, one of the biggest reasons for homelessness. In
this
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 case, the government should provide a necessary amount of shelters for those in need to reduce the percentage of the unhoused,
for example
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, a residence with perhaps lower quality but alongside a lower price, where many struggling families or individuals can reside.
Although
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this
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 is not a complete answer, it ought to be considered
Overall
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, the number of homeless people is a real issue that has many foundations for it, but it can be addressed. The current situation is concerning;
however
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, I hope that the government takes action to ensure housing for the struggling citizens.

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area for improvement
Task response: You answer the prompt and give some causes and a plan. To improve, give more detail for each cause and add clear steps or examples.
area for improvement
Coherence and cohesion: The text has basic order and some linking words, but ideas sometimes jump. Use clearer links between ideas and end with a short wrap-up.
content
Main idea is clear: homelessness in big cities is a key problem.
structure
Two causes are given and a measure is offered.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homelessness
  • city
  • housing
  • rent
  • cost
  • affordable
  • shelter
  • home
  • poverty
  • income
  • job
  • work
  • wage
  • money
  • plan
  • policy
  • government
  • program
  • service
  • help
  • support
  • health
  • mental health
  • addiction
  • drugs
  • alcohol
  • family
  • violence
  • crime
  • fix
  • solve
  • prevent
  • reduce
  • build
  • provide
  • fund
  • budget
  • long-term
  • short-term
  • improve
  • fair
  • equal
  • rights
  • access
  • system
  • community
  • partner
  • city hall
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