IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

From the past to the present, society will always have its reasons to smoke. Some groups will pretend that they are consuming cigarettes because they are facing stress. Meanwhile, another category of people
smoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
smokes
show examples
 just to enjoy their leisure time.
However
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, it is having a detrimental effect on the public who have probably never smoked in their entire life. For some years now, many countries have banned smoking in common places, and whoever wishes to smoke should immediately leave the building. I strongly believe that implementing
this
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 policy in all countries across the world will be an essential step that humans take towards a healthier community. First of all, the primary reason why many countries have restricted smoking in open areas is to avoid passive smoking that affects n on-smokers, including children and newborn babies. Despite leading a prosperous life, an enormous number of humans are still affected by life-threatening diseases like cancer, asthma and various heart diseases.
For instance
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, the World Health Organisation released a shocking report in 2024 where the survey declared that approximately 40% of European citizens who are diagnosed with cancer are non-smokers.
Secondly
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, restricting smoking in high-traffic places will allow more parents to feel confident in bringing their kids outside. The new generations are having less exposure to communal areas because the parents are more worried about their child's health condition, which they believe will be affected by chain smokers. So, enforcing
this
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 ban on society might cause a loss in revenue for the government.
Nevertheless
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, it will significantly reduce the mortality rates of the country.
To conclude
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, limiting the chances of smoking in public will have a huge impact on the quality of life of involuntary smokers.
Furthermore
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, it benefits the primary smokers to lead a better lifestyle by restricting their chances of smoking.

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task achievement
Try to clearly restate your position in the introduction for stronger clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point to improve focus.
task achievement
Use specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas smoothly between sentences for better flow.
content
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion on it.
content
You mention relevant health issues related to smoking, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
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