IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts give information about how much money collected and spent for children’s charity in one year in USA.

The pie charts give information about how much money collected and spent for children’s charity in one year in USA.
#information #money #children’s #charity #year #usa
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The pie charts give information about how much
money
Use synonyms
 was collected and spent on children’s
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
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 in one year in the USA. First of all, the total amount of
money
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 that was collected
equal
Add a missing verb
was equal
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 to $53,561,580 and the total
money
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 spent
equal
Add a missing verb
was equal
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 to $53,224,896 and approximately $437 remained. Donated food was one of the main sources of
money
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 donation (86.6%). The second main
money
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 donation was community contributions (10.4%).
While
Linking Words
, other sources
such
Linking Words
 as
program
Use synonyms
 revenue, investment income, government grants, and other income were only 3%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the expenditures included
program
Use synonyms
services
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, fundraising, and management and general
services
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. The greatest amount (95.8%) of donated
money
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 was spent on children's
program
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services
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, 2.6% of the total
money
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 was used for fundraising
services
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.
Further
Linking Words
, 1.6% was spent on management and general
services
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest amount
for
Change preposition
apply
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collection of
money
Use synonyms
 was Donated food,
while
Linking Words
 most of
the
Remove the article
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 was spent on children's
program
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bashdar981 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, program, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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