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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts give information about how much money collected and spent for children’s charity in one year in USA.

The pie charts give information about how much money collected and spent for children’s charity in one year in USA.
#information #money #children’s #charity #year #usa
The pie charts give information about how much
money
 was collected and spent on children’s
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
 in one year in the USA. First of all, the total amount of
money
 that was collected
equal
Add a missing verb
was equal
show examples
 to $53,561,580 and the total
money
 spent
equal
Add a missing verb
was equal
show examples
 to $53,224,896 and approximately $437 remained. Donated food was one of the main sources of
money
 donation (86.6%). The second main
money
 donation was community contributions (10.4%).
While
, other sources
such
 as
program
 revenue, investment income, government grants, and other income were only 3%.
On the other hand
, the expenditures included
program
services
, fundraising, and management and general
services
. The greatest amount (95.8%) of donated
money
 was spent on children's
program
services
.
In addition
, 2.6% of the total
money
 was used for fundraising
services
.
Further
, 1.6% was spent on management and general
services
.
Overall
, the highest amount
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
collection of
money
 was Donated food,
while
 most of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 was spent on children's
program
services
.
Submitted by bashdar981 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, program, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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