All parents want the best opportunity for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for children’s future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is popularly believed that every parent
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to provide the best employment options for their children.
While
Linking Words
some families think that schools should be imparted in schools, others consider that teaching youngsters a wide range of subjects would be best for their future careers.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that combining both skill development with academic learning is an excellent strategy for adolescents' growth. On one hand, there are several benefits to teaching
skills
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
children, as most jobs right now require a lot of them. Socialization, communication, leadership, and public speaking are vital for one's future employment.
Hence
Linking Words
, those who have these
skills
Use synonyms
will enable them to reach their highest potential.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the reason that competency will assist learners to acquire the assurance they have to introduce themselves to a potential investor or the general public. As business owners in our modern professional period highly encourage
such
Linking Words
talents in potential hires.
For instance
Linking Words
, the most in-demand talent on the checklist of recruiters for any business is communication ability.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I believe that educational institutions ought to let
students
Use synonyms
practice these abilities.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that increasing the level of education for
students
Use synonyms
can help them perform better in their careers. It's clear that there are many factors that play a role in reaching our goals.
For example
Linking Words
, professions
such
Linking Words
as doctors and scientists require a lot of specialized technical knowledge and abilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, learning a variety of subjects in school helps
students
Use synonyms
become knowledgeable in many areas. They acquire
skills
Use synonyms
in all their classes, which makes it easier for them to decide on a career path.
For example
Linking Words
, studying subjects like math, physics, chemistry, and biology can lead to many career options
such
Linking Words
as research, medicine, and science. To get
students
Use synonyms
ready for the challenges they might face later on,
therefore
Linking Words
, most courses are taught in a classroom setting. In conclusion, I think that balancing both educational approaches could be beneficial, incorporating essential
skills
Use synonyms
within a broader curriculum can cater to both immediate job market needs and long-term intellectual growth.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
While the essay is well-structured, you could enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, make sure each example you provide strengthens your argument and is directly related to the point you're discussing.
conclusion
Your conclusion could be slightly more detailed. Summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs before stating your final opinion.
structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion.
examples
You provided specific examples and detailed explanations, which strengthen your arguments.
language
Your language is clear and comprehensive, making your ideas easy to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Skill-based education
  • Job market
  • Employable skills
  • Practical skills
  • Career flexibility
  • Broad curriculum
  • Well-rounded knowledge
  • Intellectual development
  • Emotional development
  • Real-life applicability
  • Balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: