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Band 4

Some experts suppose that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
Few people think that when a
nation
 is already economically strong, any additional increase in
wealth
 does not make its
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 satisfied. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both positive and negative points. I think it is a positive step taken by the government. To commence with,
firstly
,
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 increase in
wealth
 can solve many problems of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
such
 as governing bodies should focus on hospitals,schools and science of the
nation
. They should develop them as they can.
Secondly
, It can help in maintaining their economic power in
otger
Correct your spelling
other
 nations. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
explain
,
due to
stop
Correct article usage
the stop
show examples
 of adding
wealth
 in
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 by their authority. They got
a
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an
show examples
 instant downfall in their graph. Adding economically can make them stable in their richness.
Correleting
Correct your spelling
Correlating
 the above view, it can
also
 decrease the problem of unemployment in the
nation
.
Due to
this
, ample can grow their own business
due to
 the economically strong
wealth
 of the
country
. To elaborate
with
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apply
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, Reliance
jio
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Jio
show examples
 grow
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 business
by
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through
show examples
 the economic power of the
country
. On the paradoxical side,
Initially
, Few countries take debts from
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
 to show their
country
 as a rich
nation
 which is a negative
steps
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step
show examples
 taken by law. They are increasing debts
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
country
 and their individuals.
To conclude
, it can be
resatated
Correct your spelling
restated
stated
restarted
 that
addition
Correct article usage
the addition
show examples
 of money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
wealth
 is necessary to grow business and decrease unemployment but taking debts from other nations is a negative point.
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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