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Band 6.5

Shortage of houses has become a severe problem in the cities today and only the government can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.

#shortage #houses #cities #government
Nowadays
people
 are adjusting to the new advancements and amenities ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 there are some consequences of living in a cutting edge environment ,lack of
houses
 is the biggest issue in the cities which seems to be addressed and could only be resolved by the
government
. I believe
this
 problem can not only be solved by the
state
 but
also
 by society as a whole.
To begin
 with, the shortage of
houses
 is escalating at an alarming rate ,
hence
 the
government
 should step forward to improve the living conditions. The predominant step that can be taken by the
state
 should be to use empty lands to construct high-rise buildings so
people
 can at least have a basic lifestyle. In cities like Delhi and Mumbai, skyscrapers can be vividly seen to accommodate folks who are residing there from different parts of the country in order to get jobs or to have quality education.
Thus
, constructing apartments for civilians should be the utmost priority of the
government
.
On the other hand
, since
people
also
 have some responsibilities towards their country , they need to control the population rate. The overwhelming population is a severe issue that needs to be controlled as
due to
this
 civics are facing new problems day by day which include the lack of
houses
. In China, it is declared by the
government
 to have only one child to balance the overpopulation ,
whereas
people
 are not cooperating with the
state
 to improve
this
 problem.
Therefore
, civilians are the
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
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putting stress on the nation's budget to build more and more
houses
 . In conclusion,
although
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should witness and take steps to address the housing problem,
people
 are equally responsible for controlling overpopulation. From my point of view, the lack of
houses
 can be addressed with the combined efforts of the
state
 and the
people
.
Submitted by chitwan.tamanna09 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure in the essay is maintained effectively, and the introduction and conclusion are present and appropriate. Ensure that all main points are connected clearly and coherently throughout the essay.
task response
The response to the task is complete and comprehensive, presenting clear and relevant ideas with specific examples. Pay attention to maintaining this level of detail and relevance throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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