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Band 3

In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What are the possible causes of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parts #world #people #situation #development
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people in
this
 world want to live a little bit longer, and for
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 reason
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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they just want to spend more time with their family a little bit longer. In
Add an article
the cause
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cause
Correct your spelling
case
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 of that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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notinly
Correct your spelling
only
 find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
way
 to live longer by using medicine and
also
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 a
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 to help solve
this
 problem.
First,
to make
this
 ways came out possible they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 to use a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 to think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 kind of medicine
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 make
this
 theory
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 out
effectly
Correct your spelling
effectively
perfectly
, so they
trying
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 to research a lot of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 to make it
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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.
secondly
Capitalize word
Secondly
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,
this
 theory may cause positive
to develop
Wrong verb form
development of
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 future metical
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 for human lives. If
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 can live longer than
usual
Correct article usage
the usual
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 70 years they can develop more
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 and they can develop a new kind of thing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the world.
On the other hand
, in the negative
way
 if the human can live
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 they age 100 it may
be cause
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 a lot of
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
, look
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the scientist
way
, human bodies can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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degenerate every year. So that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 it
no
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 easy to make it
last
 forever.
To sum up
,
this
Change preposition
in this
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 situation we should live on
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural ways of living down to earth and understand the natural
way
 of living to make your life full of
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
.
Submitted by babydreamx on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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