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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, every age group is playing sports and exercising. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#age #group #sports
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It has always been argued that nowadays every person indulges in recreational activities and exercise. The advantages of
this
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 notion are more as compared to its disadvantages and
this
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 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, why every age group is playing sports and exercising?
This
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 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 might survive from health ailments. Most individuals join sedentary lifestyles
due to
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 the advancement of technology they spend time on social applications
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for entertainment and The Call Of Duty, Pub G and many more games
play
Change the form of the verb
played
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 on smartphones.
Consequently
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, they face difficulties related to their well-being like obesity, back, and weak eyesight,
these
Capitalize word
These
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 days
people
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 love to do outdoor activities in their daily routine which has a favourable impact
to
Change preposition
on
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Correct article usage
the humans
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humans
Change the noun form
human
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body
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 with the assistance of
this
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people
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 can fit in their
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body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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.
Besides
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this
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,
People
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 who work out are considered
as
Rephrase
apply
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healthy as exercising can reduce fat percentage, improve muscle tone, and strengthen the immune system. Paradoxically, the fundamental drawback of doing exercise and playing games is that
people
Use synonyms
 can get injured. To elaborate, when
people
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 take part in physical activities, they may face minor problems To illustrate, Shoulder
Injuries
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, Ankle
Injuries
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, Knee
Injuries
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 and many more.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 65% of
people
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 do not participate in outdoor games and exercise because they have fear about
injuries
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 they know once they get injured, they cannot do work and earn money.
To conclude
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,
although
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 it has an adverse impact on
people
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's health, I personally believe that it gives more merits to the
body
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 with
this
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people
Use synonyms
 can not only improve their
body
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 muscle but
also
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 their mental health.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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