The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

#process #sugar #cane

The graph illustrates the process

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

sugar

cane

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

sugar

by manufacturing.

Overall

,the process consists of seven steps of various time

length

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lengths

show examples

,changing the

sugar

canes into

sugar

ready to use.

First,

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

farmed and growing for a period of 12 to 18 months.After growing mature, it is harvested by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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means of two ways, either by hand or by some special vehicles.The third step is that the

ingrediants

Correct your spelling

ingredients

are put into a machine and crushed into

liquid

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a liquid

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form called juice. The fourth step is to purify the juice through Limestone filters.

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

purified liquid goes through

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evaporator which

put

Add a missing verb

is put

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on extreme heat in

oder

Correct your spelling

order

to change

liquid

Correct article usage

the liquid

show examples

into

syrup

Then

the

syrup

is centrifuged to

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

sugar

crystals from

syrup

Add an article

the syrup

show examples

.After drying and cooling, water in

syrup

is evaporated and the crystal

leave

Fix the agreement mistake

leaves

show examples

at the end

sugar

which can be packed and ready for sale.

Submitted by huangzijun2293 on Sat Sep 02 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, syrup with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

148 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?