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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratitings of married couples

The charts below show the results of a survey of happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratitings of married couples
#show #results #survey #happiness #ratings #people #effect #children #ratitings #couples
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The charts show the level of
happiness
Use synonyms
 of Americans in various
age
Use synonyms
 groups. The first chart focuses on the
people
Use synonyms
’s
happiness
Use synonyms
 based on marital status
while
Linking Words
 the second presents their
happiness
Use synonyms
 in relation to whether or not they have
children
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
happiness
Use synonyms
 levels in the US are below average.
However
Linking Words
, married
people
Use synonyms
 tend to be happier than unmarried
people
Use synonyms
, whether or not they have
children
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, married
people
Use synonyms
 are noticeably happier in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups. 44 to 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of married
people
Use synonyms
 in ages ranging from 18 to 29, 30 to 39 and 65 plus are happy,
while
Linking Words
 slightly fewer (40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) of those in the 50 to 64
age
Use synonyms
 group are.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 21 to 22
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of unmarried
people
Use synonyms
 are satisfied with life in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups, apart from those aged 65 and over. Here, there is a significant difference, with 34
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 being happy. The second chart shows that having
children
Use synonyms
 appears to have little effect on
happiness
Use synonyms
 levels. The percentage of happy married
people
Use synonyms
 with
children
Use synonyms
 under 18 is 44
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 it is 43
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for those without
children
Use synonyms
 and 41
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for couples with
children
Use synonyms
 over 18.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words happiness, age, children, people, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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