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some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, belive that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #members #society #belive #school #place
In these days and ages, there is a noticeable opinion that teaching
children
 behaviour to be a good citizen of the public is the responsibility of
parents
.
Whereas
, attitude depends on the
school
.
This
 essay is written to strongly agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
parents
 have a role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educating
the
Change the word
their
show examples
children
. It is essential to understand that domestic violence is influential on
children
's cognitive processes.
This
 means offspring living in a bad environment will lead to serious mental
as well as
 wanting to punch others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have a fighter with friends. Sometimes
children
 will force
parents
 to buy some products like toys.
This
 environment
also
 leads
children
 to be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
juvenile
delinquency
Fix the agreement mistake
delinquents
show examples
.
For instance
, the rates of young crime increased annually because of the lack of
parents
 focus on offspring.
Hence
, domestic violence is the most effective phenomenon.
However
, most
parents
 don't have enough time to educate
children
 so
school
 is the solution. In modern life, the cost of living is higher and higher so
parents
 need to work harder. So
children
 should be taken to
school
 to learn not only about knowledge but
also
 their attitude in life.
In addition
, in
school
,
children
 can make friends, learn new soft skills for communication in public, how to behave correctly.
For example
, civic education is applied to every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
. From the writer's perspective, no one can understand
children
 more than
parents
. Kids have a position that shares the story of life with their
parents
. So
parents
 need to understand what
children
 need. Always listen to the offspring's opinion.
Furthermore
,
parents
 share experiences to help
children
 be more relieved
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and compensate the
children
 more and more. The most effective example of
this
 is there are many courses for
parents
 to learn how to listen to
children
 carefully. Taking everything into account,
parents
 have an important role in education,
parents
 are the most effective in
Change noun form
heir
show examples
heir's
Correct your spelling
their's
show examples
 mental, and no one can understand
children
 more than
parents
.
While
parents
 didn't have time for their
children
 too much.
Hence
parents
 are responsible for teaching
children
 behaviour.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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