The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?v

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Nowadays, the level of imparity between wealthy and penurious

countries

Use synonyms

is wider compared to centuries ago. There are various factors accounting for

this

Linking Words

issue. In

this

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essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explain them and suggest a solution for encountering

this

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phenomenon as well. Over the past centuries, rich and powerful

countries

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have always colonized less developed and vulnerable nations.

Firstly

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due to

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better quality of life and high salaries many educated individuals in poor

countries

Use synonyms

decided to immigrate to developed states.

Thus

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, their own country to gradually will suffer from

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of expert and educated people.

Consequently

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, inequality in socioeconomic fields between pool and reach nations is growing

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apply

show examples

every year.

For example

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, because of corruption and

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

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job vacancies in many African nations, thousands of their graduated students leave their cities and decide to find proper

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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in Western

countries

Use synonyms

Secondly

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due to

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systematic corruption in many underdeveloped states especially by top authorities, the money flow would not benefit ordinary penurious people.

Instead

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, it will be invested in wealthy banks abroad in favour of a few

corrupted

Replace the word

corrupt

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individuals.

Hence

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, the inequality increases over time.

On the other hand

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, there are several approaches

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which could encounter imparities between rich and poor

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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. First and foremost, there must be a strong attitude within the population in order to not only start multiple campaigns against depravity but

also

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, encourage their citizens to invest in their own underprivileged state.

For example

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, during the 2014 Ukraine crisis, people started huge programmed protests against their rulers to prohibit them from making their assets

flowing

Wrong verb form

flow

show examples

to Russia. In conclusion,

although

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the inequality between wealthy and underprivileged States is rising, from my perspective, if a united nation takes necessary measures like a programmed plan to fight corruption,

this

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level of imparity will

be decreased

Wrong verb form

decrease

show examples

soon.

m.lotfipour92Sat Sep 02 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?