In many part of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative development?
These days, Parents tend to give more
freedom
to their kids in comparison to the past in many societies. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
,
there are many beneficial effects for Remove the comma
apply
children
in all aspects of their lives, their drawback related to Use synonyms
this
issue is not undeniable.
On the pulse site, Linking Words
Children
are given the Use synonyms
freedom
to become more independent in the responsibilities they are involved with. Use synonyms
As a result
of independence, students have more opportunities in the future. Take going abroad for studies or a good job as an example. Linking Words
Children
who experience Use synonyms
freedom
at the early age of adulthood are more confident and become more successful not only in their educational lives but Use synonyms
also
in their vocations.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, having more freer space has its own drawbacks. Linking Words
Children
may do some wrong tasks or put themselves in danger Use synonyms
due to
how inexperienced they are. Linking Words
In addition
, some unpleasant experiences may destroy their confidence and have a detrimental effect on their physical and mental health. Linking Words
For instance
, the drive a car at an illegal age might be dangerous for Linking Words
children
. Use synonyms
However
, the government should Linking Words
also
take steps as a form of workshop for Linking Words
children
to give them Use synonyms
freedom
in a disciplined manner.
In conclusion, the Use synonyms
freedom
given to Use synonyms
children
has its positive and negative effects. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
children
are more confident and independent, Use synonyms
such
as the harsh experience may destroy their mental as well. I profoundly believe that Linking Words
this
has far more positive than negative in which the controlled manner of Linking Words
freedom
may change their future positively.Use synonyms
Submitted by hirasattar7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that the ideas are logically connected and presented in a clear sequence.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to support the main points. Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate the ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more focused and dynamic. Work on creating more impactful and engaging opening and closing statements.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, but the ideas could be presented more clearly and comprehensively. Develop the ideas with more depth and clarity.