IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions) of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions) of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#changes #production #millions #three #products #garment #factory #information #features #comparisons
The line graph
compare
Change the verb form
compares
show examples
 the trend in the production of
suit
, coat and
dress
 in clothing factory between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
, as we can
be seen
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the coats steadily rose during
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 years, and the
dress
occupided
Correct your spelling
occupied
occupies
 the lowest one
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In 1990, the
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
show examples
 were most popular in the clothing plant, which produced around 15
million
.
By contrast
, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 for coats and
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
 have only reached about
7million
Correct your spelling
7 million
 and
mere10million
Replace the word
a mere 10 million
show examples
.
However
this
 changed a year later, coat
shaprly
Correct your spelling
sharply
shapely
 rose and consistently that it overtook
dress
 in 1995 at approximately 13
million
 and
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
suit
Add an article
the suit
a suit
show examples
 in 2001 at around 17
million
. In 2010,
coat
Capitalize word
Coat
show examples
 overtook
suit
 as top sales gainer at 25
million
. The production of suits
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 sharply during the period shown, once peaking at around 22
million
 in 1995, next year the figure declined until 2005. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they
increament
Correct your spelling
increased
 again
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
show examples
 close to 20
million
. At
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time,
this
situition
Correct your spelling
situation
also
 be
ovservied
Correct your spelling
observed
 in
dress
, but in general, the figure increased and stood at 15
million
 in 2010.
Submitted by ur790609922 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words suit, dress, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: