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Band 5.5

More and more qualified people are moving from oiir ti rucg ciybtrues ti fukk vacabcues in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countires are stealing from poor countries. Ohters feel that this is only part of the natural movement of worker around the world. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #oiir #ti #rucg #ciybtrues #fukk #vacabcues #specialist #areas #medicine #movement #countires #countries #ohters #part #worker #world
These days, the figure of professionals in developing
countries
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 to developed ones increases rapidly. Most
people
 think that rich
countries
 attract human resources from poor
countries
 by encouraging the movement of workers
while
 others assume that
this
 is only a natural phenomenon in the world.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of
this
 statement and represent my opinion about
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, there are many attractive conditions to find jobs with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 in rich
countries
.
For instance
, as a business accountant, my aunt found a job in VN 3 years ago
then
 she moved to America to find another attractive chance. When she worked in VN, she earned only $1000 per month
whereas
 the amount of salaries in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 is three times as much as in
home
Correct pronoun usage
her home
show examples
 country. That’s why she decided to change
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
environment
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 feel that
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
 of
people
 from poor to rich
countries
 depends on many reasons. Apart from occupations, living
environment
,
such
 as weather,
environment
 and living standards, are
also
 the most important
element
Fix the agreement mistake
elements
show examples
 for them to decide
moving
Change the verb form
to move
show examples
 to other
countries
.
For example
, the
environment
 in Africa is seriously polluted by the death of
millions
Add the preposition
ofmillions
show examples
people
 staving
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
,
African
Fix the agreement mistake
Africans
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to leave their country to protect themselves
out of
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
 polluted atmosphere. In brief, I agree that most
people
 from poor
countries
 tend to find jobs in richer
countries
.
However
, I think that once rich
countries
 steal
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 substantial number of qualified
people
 to fill spaces in specialist areas from
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
show examples
countries
, it is logical for them to compensate for
Correct article usage
the professionals
show examples
professionals
Change the noun form
professional
show examples
 shortage in these places by affording financial.
Submitted by psps2021rate on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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