In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#century #contact #parts #world #air #travel #telecommunication #outweigh

Many parts of the world have developed rapidly in the twentieth century by connecting with other parts of the globe through advancements in technology and communication systems.

Although

there are several

advantages

of connection between other

countries

, drawbacks and negative consequences cannot be overlooked. In the forthcoming article, I shall elucidate my stance on

this

matter before reaching a final verdict.

To begin

with, there are several benefits of increasing closer relationship with the world.

Firstly

, it helps to improve our economic growth and

also

the tourist opportunities that many

people

visit our nation, and it leads to an increase in economic growth.

Secondly

,it makes human life faster and easier.

For example

people

communicate with individuals from another country by using the Internet.

Thirdly

, it

also

increases the job opportunities among the

people

by connecting with the individuals of other

countries

Thus

, these are the

advantages

of connecting with the other nations.

Nevertheless

, there are some negative effects of increasing contact between other

countries

. First of all, it increases pollution and

also

creates global warming by increasing air travel.

In addition

people

are connected with each other through telecommunication, which decreases the interaction between humans as they do not meet each other face to face.

Consequently

,these are the drawbacks of increasing connections with other

countries

To conclude

, having discussed the topic in detail, I concur that the

advantages

outweigh the disadvantages.

Therefore

, in my opinion, I think that increasing air travel and telecommunications both have their own

advantages

and disadvantages.

Submitted by THE TEACHING DESK on Sun Sep 03 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the topic and provides a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of the essay by creating a clearer introduction and conclusion that introduce the topic and summarize the main points.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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