IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant?

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant?
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the changing pattern of temperatures monthly in
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
, and
Sydney
Use synonyms
. The table demonstrates the total annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine per
year
Use synonyms
 in the three major cities. The
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 is eight in January
then
Linking Words
 gradually rises and meets the peak at 23 in July and drops back to nine in December
year
Use synonyms
 by
year
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, every
year
Use synonyms
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 grows from four to 30 from January to July and decreases to five in December.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
, January is the hottest month of the
year
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 July is the coldest.
However
Linking Words
, the winter days in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 aren’t as cold as in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
, the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 in July is 16.
In addition
Linking Words
, The average number of sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 is 2,535
hours
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
 get 2,473
hours
Use synonyms
 and 1,180
hours
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is worth noticing that
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 have similar average monthly
temperature
Use synonyms
 patterns
while
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 shares an inverse
temperature
Use synonyms
 pattern. Plus, among the three major cities, New
York
Use synonyms
 has the longest sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
, followed by
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by BeckyJ on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, sydney, hours, year, temperature with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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