The chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

The bar chart compares the annual proportion of Americans in terms of having

heart

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attacks

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Overall

Linking Words

, the more people age, the more

heart

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attacks

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happen.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the number of males was significantly higher than their opposite genders in all given years. Regarding men, 123

thousand

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of them in the period of 29-44 had suffered from

heart

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disease. Before reaching a peak in the proportion of people who had

heart

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attacks

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at the age of 65 and more, there was a dramatic rise of around 300

thousand

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in the period of 45-64, leading them to 424

thousand

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Finally

Linking Words

, with approximately 16

thousand

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increase, 440

thousand

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men aged 65 and more had

heart

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attacks

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. Women in the group aged 29-44 that had

heart

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attacks

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were just 3

thousand

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However

Linking Words

, an enormous jump in the period of 45-64 happened and the number reached 136

thousand

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. At the age of 65 and more, the number tripled and stopped at 374

thousand

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looordomidSun Sep 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words heart, attacks, thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

157 words

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The chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

Studying a language in a country where it is spoken by the majority of citizens is the best way to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The news is a source of knowledge about the world. How much can we trust the journalists? What are the qualities a good journalist should have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?