as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

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In our rapidly evolving world, technological advancements, particularly in the realm of
computers
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and artificial intelligence (AI), have led to the replacement of various
job
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positions
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.
This
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essay will explore several
job
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positions
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that may face the risk of being lost
due to
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the increasing integration of
computers
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in the workforce, and it will discuss one significant problem that may result from
this
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transition. One of the
job
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positions
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most vulnerable to computerization is that of routine, repetitive tasks,
such
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as data entry clerks or assembly line workers. These jobs often involve predictable and rule-based activities, making them prime candidates for automation by sophisticated computer programs. As
computers
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become more adept at handling repetitive tasks with efficiency and precision, the demand for human
labor
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labour

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show examples
in these roles may decline.
Furthermore
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, roles in customer service and support may
also
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be affected. With the rise of AI-driven chatbots and virtual assistants, the need for human interaction in handling routine customer queries may diminish.
While
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these technologies offer the advantage of 24/7 availability and quick responses, they risk reducing the demand for human employees in customer-facing roles. One significant problem resulting from the widespread replacement of jobs by
computers
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is the potential surge in unemployment. As more
positions
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become automated, a significant portion of the workforce may find themselves without employment opportunities.
This
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could lead to socio-economic challenges,
such
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as income inequality, increased dependency on social welfare systems, and potential strains on mental health
due to
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the stress of
job
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insecurity. In conclusion, the integration of
computers
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into various industries poses a threat to certain
job
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positions
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, particularly those involving routine and repetitive tasks. The potential problem of increased unemployment is a pressing concern that society must address through proactive measures
such
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as reskilling programs, policy development, and fostering an environment that encourages the symbiotic relationship between humans and technology.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively tackles the topic and provides a clear overview in the introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance your score, especially in task achievement, try to delve deeper into your examples by explaining how specific job roles are influenced by computerization in more detail. For instance, mention particular technologies or algorithms that have made certain jobs redundant.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable, but it can be improved by making your argument flow more naturally. This can be achieved by using a wider range of connecting words and ensuring that each paragraph seamlessly leads to the next. Also, try to provide more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
general
Including more real-life examples or statistics could significantly bolster the impact of your essay. For coherence and cohesion, it's crucial that each main point is not only stated but also supported by concrete evidence. This practice will not only enrich your argument but also make your essay more compelling to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technologically advanced
  • automated machinery
  • computer controlled robots
  • online banking
  • automated teller machines (ATMs)
  • self-service checkouts
  • autonomous vehicles
  • economic stability
  • unemployment rates
  • skill gap
  • specialized training
  • manual labor
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