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Band 5

In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extend do you agree?

#study #university #students #tuition #fees #people #education
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university is increasing dramatically because of chances for job seeking for
post-graduated
Correct your spelling
post-graduate
show examples
students
.
It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
show examples
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that post-school
education
 fees should be paid by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
while
 others say that
students
 have to pay by themselves. Personally, I believe that
students
 should pay for
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the fees of
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
. Granted, one might argue that
abandon
Replace the word
abandonment
show examples
 of high
education
 fees could encourage young people to take part in university in order to have degrees, leading to higher chances of employment for these people.
In addition
, by providing
such
 free courses,
students
 who have financial problems could
remain
Verb problem
continue
show examples
 their study progress.
However
,
due to
 free
Fix the agreement mistake
tuition
show examples
tuitions
Fix the agreement mistake
tuition
show examples
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 higher
education
,
students
 would have less responsibility for their learning process because they will have nothing to lose if they do not finish their courses.
Moreover
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 could grant scholarships for
students
 who have financial issues,
therefore
 it could enhance the encouragement
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning spirit.
Furthermore
,
instead
 of giving free higher
education
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could save money to make a free school program to ensure that all the communities in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 have qualified the tertiary
education
.
Additionally
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vocational secondary schools in order to help people who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
literacy skills but
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
 at career skills.
For example
, individuals who have no probability
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 math or literature but might have ingenuous hands could improve their feasibility
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
be
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional workers in construction areas
such
 as welders, builders, and masons.
Thus
, it helps them to have chances to get good jobs in the future and devote
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
 the development of society. In conclusion,
while
 some say that free
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
education
 could encourage individuals to improve their
education
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
positively impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 development, I myself believe that
such
 a solution will not yield results.
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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