In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantsges outweigh the advantages of living in another city?

#countries #university #students #home #city #disadvantsges

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It is true that students, when they go to university, often decide to live away from home or in another area. I believe there are two disadvantages and one advantage of living independently. First of all,

money

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can be a problem. When we live with our parents, we often forget about how much

money

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we need to survive in

this

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world. Since they cover everything, the only time we actually spend our

money

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is when we buy something we

wanted

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want

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to.

However

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, as soon as we move out of their house, we need to pay for everything without any help. Even though your parents can support you financially, you need to spend less

money

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on clothes or cosmetics,

instead

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, you need to allocate your monthly budget to many different sectors.

Furthermore

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, some people might feel depressed when they start a new life in a new place. because they don't know anyone and it takes time to make friends.

On the other hand

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, there is a huge benefit of living by ourselves: being truly independent. It would be a great opportunity to try many things alone from A to Z. It is something we can never learn until we live alone.

For instance

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, we will learn how to use

money

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efficiently, how to cook and how to socialise with strangers. It might be hard when we first start to live away from where we grew up, but, throughout

this

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process, we will get used to it and will become a responsible and mature adult.

Also

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this

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is something we need to face

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at anytime

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anytime

Correct your spelling

any time

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in our lives. In conclusion, I think

this

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big advantage outweighs the two disadvantages.

Although

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it is not easy to live by ourselves, getting to know better about ourselves and growing internally will be beneficial in the long term.

Submitted by dob.jeong on Fri Nov 22 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, a personal anecdote or a statistic about financial management for students living away from home could strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs are well-linked, maintaining a smooth flow from one idea to the next. Some transitions, such as between the second and third paragraphs, could be more explicit.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-rounded analysis with two disadvantages and one advantage, matching the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported with logical reasoning, providing depth to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantsges outweigh the advantages of living in another city?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that economic development is the only way to end world poverty. However, others argue that economic growth is causing environmental problems and should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your own oppinion.

Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe research on previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on present and future generation.discuss both views and show your opinion.