Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated it?

It is said that a new international
language
should be created for communication. It can be seen that
this
change will bring back more demerits than merits because of its inconvenience and time-consuming. In
this
digital era, more than 100 languages can be translated by modern technology.
As a result
, the ways people communicate with each other are more convenient through these devices
instead
of inventing a new one only used for global citizens.
Besides
, the
language
of each civilization or country originates from their ancestors and
that is
the distinctive signal or sign of their culture.
For instance
, it can be seen that Morse code was used for emergency situations
such
as in war or police signs,
however
, it was popularized by most citizens nowadays.
Moreover
, it is a fact that most countries have their own languages,
therefore
, learning a new way of communicating will take a long time to acquire new knowledge. To have insight about
this
fact, there are many children who have a sharp head to acquire it,
however
, how about the students who are labelled as incompetent students because of their achievements? In terms of working people, they spend most of their time working so they cannot learn a new
language
themselves.
For example
, a white-collar worker needs to work eight hours per day and some workers may be on their night shift so they can not carry on learning. In conclusion, I think that reforming a new
language
for global citizens is inappropriate for everyone. Simultaneously, there will be a lot of objections to
this
revolution because of its contradiction to people.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a stance, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement to strengthen the overall argument. Mention explicitly in the introduction how the demerits outweigh the merits.
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully explained and directly related to the topic. Some sections could be expanded with more specific examples to develop your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Organize your points logically and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence of the text.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the main arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Provide more supporting details and examples to illustrate your points. For instance, expand on how modern technology aids in translation.
coherence cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion that frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay is relevant and addresses the topic effectively.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide specific examples, which enhance your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • International communication
  • Cultural unity
  • Trade and business facilitation
  • Language barriers
  • Global education systems
  • International diplomacy
  • Political negotiations
  • Linguistic and cultural identities
  • Resistance
  • Native languages
  • Implementation challenges
  • Vocabulary and grammar rules
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