Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures #points

These days,

people

are suffering from different diseases mainly because of obesity which increases the chances of heart attacks in humans.

People

are suffering from other diseases because of increasing weight

such

as Fatty Liver and High Cholesterol in the younger generation. Some

people

suggest that these problems can be solved by increasing the number of

sports

complexes in the country with minimal or no fees as not everyone can afford costly memberships. In

this

essay, I will discuss the impact on human health of

this

type of change in our society. To commence with, nowadays, with increased junk food in the market caused many problems related to health.

In other words

, food prepared by street vendors and local shops is unhygienic and unhealthy as well.

Still

Add a comma

Still,

show examples

people

are consuming these types of foods in their daily life with no exercise in their daily routine.

For example

, my friend Ram, who eats street food daily in the evening after his office hours is now suffering from obesity the doctor advised him to join any

sports

activity of his own choice but he couldn't because of the skyrocketing membership of a

sports

club near his home.

Furthermore

, children are overloaded with so much intense pressure these days by schools and institutions. In spite of

this

, they hardly play any

sports

because of the lack of availability of good

sports

facilities nearby. To explicate, these days, there are not many playgrounds left to play some outdoor games

such

as Cricket, Hockey or Tennis for children because

this

young generation is not very physically active or fit.

For instance

, my niece spends most of his time playing video games after coming home from school as there are no attractive

sports

facilities around

such

as Swimming, Gyms or Basketball grounds

due to

which he is suffering from some minor health problems.

To conclude

, In my opinion, increasing

sports

clubs will keep them motivated towards their fitness goals and develop interests in some kind of outdoor sport which they have never experienced and it will help them increase their fitness levels.

Submitted by dhingrarahul55 on Sun Sep 03 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses all aspects of the task. Include a balanced discussion of both points of view and provide a clear opinion at the end of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction is present and provides an overview of the points to be discussed. Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked and that cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas throughout the essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?